Webster Sends A Letter From Fat Camp (The Webster Chronicles)

Holy crap you guys, I guess the mailman accidentally put a letter for Websters family in my mailbox. Since I live next door to them I guess he got the numbers confused. I just opened it up and here's what he wrote:


Dear Mom and Dad,

Things are going okay here at camp, I really miss you guys and I can't wait to be back home. I have lost a few pounds and I am really starting to feel good about myself, I think I can take what I am learning here and really turn my weight problem around.

The counselors said that we can have one item from home mailed to us as a reward for doing so well. My bunkmate Steve has a television already so I was wondering if you could mail me my PS2 and a few games. We have a couple of hours of free time in the evenings and that would be really cool.

I got your message that Frankie is out of prison and staying home again and I can't wait to see him. I just hope he can stay out of trouble this time, just keep him away from [My Real Name] because he always get's into trouble when he's around that jerk.

I love you so much and I can't wait to get home and have some of mom's home cooking. I am hungry just thinking about it.

Love,

Webster



This is freakin horrible, Webster is having a good time and feeling good about himself? This is quite simply unfuckingacceptable. So I have decided to go out and buy a PS2, get a hammer, smash the fuck out of it, and mail it to Webster so he think's his Playstation is fucked up. Sure it's $200 but it's well worth it if it make's Webster cry. Call me a jerk will you, what a completely unfounded and uncalled for accusation.

I also stuffed a case of Baby Ruth's in there as well so hopefully Webster will pig out on those and reverse all the hard work he's put in at Shady Grove Fat Kids Camp. Now I have to go find Frankie and see what kind of trouble I can make him get into.