Frankie Goes To Hollywood (The Webster Chronicles)

So as everyone knows Websters brother Frankie just showed up at the apartment complex after getting out of jail. I thought with Webster at Fat Camp I would be without a fat, stupid, loser to torture. As I said before Webster (although fat, stupid, and ugly) was harmless, where Frankie is a pretty bad kid. He has gone to jail a couple times for selling weed, been busted for DUI once, and last year had to go to the hospital when he blew a finger to shreds on the 4th of July.

Well Webster and Frankies parents were going out of town this weekend, and they guilt tripped me into keeping an eye on Frankie so he doesn't do anything too bad. They made me feel like I was responsible for Webster getting sent to fat camp, so I owed them. Bullcrap I say, but they paid me $50 (and promised another $50 if Frankie stays out of trouble) so I thought that would pay for beer for the weekend.

Well as me and some buds were getting ready to go to the video store, Frankie walks out and axes for a ride. I tried to explain to him I'm not a babysitter for Christ's sake, a 25 year old man shouldn't have to keep an eye on a 19 year old proud high school dropout such as Frankie. I also tried to explain that my Expedition doesn't get great gas mileage and his increased weight would only suck another 3 MPG off of that.

Well Frankie said he was gonna go crap in the pool if we didn't let him go, which would of kissed my other $50 goodbye, so I said fine. We let Frankie in and drove out to Hollywood video, the whole time Frankies singing that goddamn song by Ashlee Simpson "La La", it was really fucking annoying. I was about to hit the power liftgate button and have them throw his ass out the back onto the highway, but we then pulled into Hollywood Video.

I turned and told Frankie he had to walk in like 2 minutes after us so nobody knew he was with us, get his rentals, check out, and then go back to the car. We then headed in and started checking out some X Box games and the latest DVD's. We saw Frankie walk inside a little while later and head straight back into the Porno section behind the curtain.

I walked up to the counter/checkout girl, who I knew, and gave her $10 telling her "hey when that fat guy named Frankie comes out of the porno section and tries to checkout make something up so it looks like he's checking out Gay Porn".

A little later we saw Frankie walk out with like an armfull of porn and he walked to the checkout counter. We hid over by the Family section and looked over the shelves at Frankie. As he was putting some beef jerky on the counter the checkout girl slipped a tape in his stack and goes

"I'm sorry sir, but this tape is reserved. Someone else called ahead and requested (raises voice) Cumguzzling Gay Cocksmoking Firemen #27. Oh I'm sorry, this is number 26 you can have it".

Two hot chicks in line behind Frankie immediately started laughing their asses off and pointing at him. Frankie started cussing and stormed out to my Expedition. We checked out and walked out to it, as Frankie was getting in I stopped him.

"Frankie what the hell do you think you're doing? I don't associate myself with anyone that checks out porn, much less gay porn like Cumguzzling Gay Cocksmoking Firemen #27"

"It was number 26 Carnonymous" Frankie yelled

"Well then you admit it, you just got one you watched before. Have fun walking Frankie!" I yelled as we peeled out. I then decided to be mean since Frankie started crying. I stopped and waited for him to reach the handle, and peeled out again. We did this probably 6 or 7 times, and to be honest of we hadn't of come up to the end of the parking lot where it flows onto the Highway we would of done it all the way home.

Well like 40 minutes later we were hanging out on my patio smoking some cigars and drinking when we say Frankie stumbling into the complex, sweaty, red faced, and pissed off. He started screaming and cursing at me that I had left him.

"Frankie, I did this for your own good. Do you want to be super fat and get sent to fat camp like Webster? I am thinking of your health and trying to help you lose weight, show some gratitude. What is it with you and your brother? You people are so ungrateful and rude."

Frankie just gave me the finger then went into his parents apartment and (judging from the smell coming from it and the fact the pizza guy showed up 30 minutes later) started smoking out. On probation, drinking, and smoking weed? Frankie better be thankful I am a kind, caring, compassionate, individual or I would of called his PO or the cops to let them know he's violating probation.

Ahhh hell I cannot tell a lie, we had GTA San Andreas on and it was my turn to play, that's why I didn't call.