Apparently Some Of Your Turds Love Webster, So You Sent Me Hate Mail

For some ungodly reason some of you Aldrich Aimes out there love Webster and think I have been far too cruel to him. How anyone could read the Webster Chronicles and take his side is just beyond me. I got quite a few hate mails about Webster and have picked what I believe are the four best:


Fagnonymous,

You fucking piece of shit i cant believe anyone would treat a child that way. Its people like you that cause so many children to turn to drugs, drhinking, and become antisocial. I hope god punishes you one day by having your child grow up fat and have some piece of shit used car salesman torture him. That is if you can ever get a woman to fuck you. You have to be on of the most offensive people I have ever encounterd, learn to be a little more sensitive you asshole.

Actually I'm fairly sure that if God does have a sense of humor I will end up with a bunch of midget, fat, retarded, albino kids. So don't worry about me. What I really don't get is YOU telling ME to be more sensitive.... yet you are the one that wishes obesity upon my progeny. Also I am fairly sure the homosexual community is thrilled with your play on words with my name.

Oh one more thing, I only sell new cars.

I SINCERELY HOPE THAT THIS ENTIRE THING IS A BIT. BECAUSE IF IT IS NOT THIS HAS TO BE ONE OF THE MOST CRUEL THINGS I HAVE EVER READ. I USED TO BE OVERWEIGHT AS A CHILD AND I STILL FEEL SELF CONSCIOUS ABOUT MY WEIGHT DUE TO WHAT I WENT THROUGH AS A CHILD. YOUR BLOG ENTRYS MADE ME CRY BECAUSE THEY BROUGHT BACK PAINFUL MEMORIES. I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF.

I TAKE THAT BACK. I KNOW YOU CAN NOT BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF. ANYONE THIS SICK TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING LIKE THIS AS A JOKE MUST BE VERY UNHAPPY, AND IF THEY ARE DOING THIS FOR REAL THEN I CRY FOR THEM. I PRAY FOR YOUR SAKE AND FOR WEBSTERS THAT YOU LEARN TO TREAT OTHERS THE WAY YOU WOULD WANT TO BE TREATED.

If I was freakin 100 pounds overweight I would expect folks to make fun of my ass as well. I'm sorry you're so psychologically fragile that these stories made you cry you pussy. I bet you have to fast forward through The Goonies so you don't see Chunk doing the Truffle Shuffle, it would probably force you into the fetal position for weeks. In case you're reading this here's a pic of Chunk, I hope you have the Kleenex ready you wuss.


Truffle Shuffle Bitches 

By the way, it's called a Caps Lock key, try hitting it sometime.

Carnonymous,

I normally enjoyed your blog, but I want you to know that your so called Webster Chronicles have cost you a loyal reader. I am an overweight person myself and am subject to daily ridicule for my size. The humiliation I feel everytime I go in public is only compounded by people such as yourself.

Splitting your pants, having to take up two seats in a movie theater, and having to request a table everytime you go out to eat because you can't slide into a booth are all experiences I have had. These were made even worse by people such as yourself that snicker and point. You might think again when you write such things, because they can and will cost you.

Thanks for making me laugh dude. I am glad to know you split your pants and have to request a table instead of a booth. Freakin sweet. So I guess when I was making fun of retards, guys with erectile disfunction, Emo kids, wiggers, deaf mutes, Jesse Jackson, and midgets it was all fun and games.....but when I strike on a subject that affects YOU suddenly I am evil? Well I hate to tell you but I can, and will, poke fun at anything and everything I damn well please.

In case you forgot this is called "Angryface Central: Brilliance Defined" not "Fat Loser Who Laughs At Stuff Until It's Them In The Crosshairs". I write for one reason and one reason only, I crack myself up doing it. I don't care if I have one reader or one million readers. So long as I enjoy what I am writing I will still do it.

Hey carnonymous, it's pretty easy to hide behind an anonymous name and write about some kid. I bet you woudln't say this stuff to his parents face, they would kick you ass you faggot.

If I ever saw you I would beat your ass until you were in a coma, then wait at the hospital for when you come out of it and kick your ass again bitch.

Your nothing but a loser car salesman whos an internet tough guy, if i ever learn where you work I am going to show up and kick your ass, then you write about that.

Lets see how funny you think it is wirting about me beating you ass.



I'm the internet tough guy? This really seems like a case of the pot and the fucking kettle. For some reason I am not really shaking in boots from a threat by a guy who's email address is "dallasraveboi4eva". What's he gonna do hit me with his glowsticks while high on exstacy?