George Lucas Is Americas Best Paid Whore

Seriously the guy has like a Billion dollars to his name, but he is whoring himself out. I am getting sick and freakin tired of turning on the TV and seeing Darth Vader pimping out M&M's (although I will admit the BK video was funny), Yoda trying to steal some Diet Pepsi, and crap like that.

I think the last straw was when was flicking channels and passed MTV. What do I see, the latest episode of Vive Le Bam, Pimp My Ride, Real World, Real World/Road Rule Challenge, Date My Mom, Room Raiders, True Life, nope..... I actually found some fucking music.

The problem I had with this though was twofold, first of all the band playing was Good Charlotte (that's a whole other rant) and secondly they were playing at Skywalker Ranch. Skywalker Ranch is Lucas's huge pad out in the desert, its like the nerd Graceland.

Well Good Charlotte is there up on stage doing what they do best (suck) and what the fuck do I see? DARTH FUCKING VADER hanging out on stage. Look I realize Vader doesn't exist, but Jesus tittyfucking Christ if he did he sure as fuck wouldn't hang out with Good Charlotte. He'd fucking force choke those bastards and be done with it.

I think that's the moment I realized George Lucas isn't this great creative genius I thought he was (even after Episodes I and II), I realized George is nothing but a filthy fucking whore.

Why not go all out? Seriously if you're gonna do that stuff just go all out for everything. I want to see some other commercials such as:

-Padme for Massengil: She can be talking about how she feels no so fresh, but with this great strawberry douche she's ready for some Anakin love.

-Yoda for Depends: The guys like 900 years old, you know he craps his pants. "When crap his pants Yoda does, special protection does he require."

-Jar Jar Binks For Popeyes: Popeyes has no problem perpetuating the whole black people love fried chicken thing, so why not get Jar Jar to do it. "Meesa Loves some Fried Chicken"

-Samuel L Jacksons character for Magnum Condoms: He can say as a Space Brother he needs Maximum protection from Space Skanks when he's getting his force lovin on.

-Darth Vader For The Latest Styx Tour and Home Depot: He can take the place of Mr Roboto and do some bad ass dancin. Then he can cut a commercial just like this.....


Darth Sellout 

-Chewbacca With A Late Night Flobee Commercial: Actually 23 minutes of Chewbacca roaring and some little English twit going "yes Chewbacca, it does have a clip and suck action" would be pretty freakin funny.

If they ever want to do another Star Wars movie they need to consult a genius like me, not some $10 sucky sucky whore like Lucas.