Attention Fat Broads, If You're A Size 12 You Can't Wear A 2 (Rant + Car Sales Confession)

God why do fat broads think they are sexy? Don't get me wrong, I like a full figured woman. I definitely want my women to look like women, not 12 year old boys that have taken an extended stay at Dachau. Unfortunately that look is back in, as evidence by Lindsay Lohan going from jailbaity goodness, to looking like a common crack whore.

But there are WAY to many freakin women out there that think they have a swimsuit models body when the only calendar they should be posing for is Shamu & Friends. I am not talking about a little curvy, some junk in the trunk or whatever...I am talking A GOOD 150+ lbs OVERWEIGHT. Now these broads call themselves "BBW's" or "big beautiful women".

The words "Big", "Beautiful", and "Woman" should never be together in any 3 word phrase, it just doesn't work. Throw an extra word in there, let's say breasted, and it works. Here's a few examples:

-Big Beautiful Woman: BAD
-Big Breasted Beautiful Woman: GOOD
-Beautiful Big Woman: BAD
-Beautfiul Big Breasted Woman: GOOD

See?

Unfortunately it seem so many of these "big beautiful women" think they are much smaller than they are. It's unreal to see a woman who's 250 pounds with a F.U.P. (do you know what a FUP is? Post the correct answer and the winner get's a prize) wearing tight jeans and a belly shirt. It's not called a belly shirt because everyone wants to see your pasty white jiggling belly. And don't get a fucking belly ring if you have a belly, someone might get confused and attach a trailer to it.

So many freakin fat chicks seem to always use this formula for how they dress:

Fat Chick Size - The First Number In Their Size = How They Dress.

For instance a chick that's a size 18, will dress like she's a size 8. Today at work we had a perfect example of this.

So this chick is working with another salesperson here and she is probably 5'6 and 240 pounds. She is wearing:

-A tank top/belly shirt cut way to low and tight
-Tight short shorts (not tight on a normal girl but on her they were too tight)
-had her hair braided (and she's white so it looks even trashier)

and it is freakin disgusting. Its not called a belly shirt cuz folks want to see your jiggling pooch you fat cow. My buddy who's working her sent me an IM telling me she couldn't buy smoke off a hamburger (although apparently she had bought plenty of McBurgers to go into her gullet) so I should feel free to drop some insults on dat azz.

She caught me staring at her and said "what? I bet you ain't seen nothing like this before" and motioned her hands over her body.

After a few involuntary gagging motions, I informed her she was correct. I had never seen anything like that before, and prayed to god I never would again unless I accidentally surfed onto www.fattys.com

She shook her head Loquisha style and said "uh uh, I KNOWS you didn't just say dat" (this broad is white too so that's even funnier), "you wish you could hit this and get up into my Juicy Juice, I'd break you in half honey".

After an extended bout of gagging at the Juicy Juice remark, I told her I am sure there's lots of things she could break in half, including my desk if she sat on it so I would like it if she left.

She stormed out, presumably to head to McDonald's. God that broad was disgusting. I am fairly sure that's the "quality" of poon young Webster will one day aspire too, poor bastard.