The Slip N Slide Incident (Webster Hurts Himself)

Holy freakin crap, I am still laughing about this and it happened yesterday. This will soon be known as the infamous Slip N Slide incident (a note for those of you out there that are just now tuning in, this has nothing to do with the Michael Jackson case).

So yesterday I get off of work and head home to my apartment complex. As I am pulling in a notice a throng of people out on a big grassy area. It seems someone has put out a Slip N Slide that runs along the lawn area for a good 30 feet. Kids are sliding down it and it goes towards one of the buildings, and there they stop and get back in line.

They are also barbequeing, have balloons out, and somewhere over the PA system Wipeout is playing. I thought, "hey thats pretty cool" and was starting to pull into my building.

Then I saw Webster, my neighbors fat son, KAWHeeeeeeezing his way towards the slip in slide. I stopped and thought to myself "surely he isn't, there's no way he can build up enough speed to do this".

Well Webster must of thought he saw a Baby Ruth at the other end of the Slip N Slide, because he let out a mighty yell and started running full blast towards the Slip N Slide.

He launched himself onto it and really started flying down that yellow strip of plastic, all the while Wipeout is playing. Webster was picking up more and more speed, and was getting closer and closer to the end of the Slip N Slide. I think he forgot that an object in motion tends to stay in motion, and the Slip N Slide was providing no friction to slow him down, instead it was merely helping propel all of his fatty self along and he was picking up speed.

I think Webster finally realized this cuz with about 10 feet left he started flopping his arms to slow down (picture a turtle on its belly, but a really fat turtle, kicking his arms and legs to slow down) and started screaming.

Finally Webster came to the end of the Slip N Slide and everything seemed to slow down Matrix style.

Wipeout was playing (Bananananananananaaananananana nanananaannananaana, Bananananananana nanananananana, Banananananananaan nananananananaa, Bannaanananananaananananana, Bananananaa nununununeeeeneeee, nanananananananaananana nunu neeee neee)


Webster screaming and flopping his arms to slow down, and then he hits the end of the Slip N Slide (which is only like 5 feet from a building wall) and continues to move, and takes like 3 bounces straight into a building wall.

If the apartment complex had deployed a Crocodile Mile at the end of the Slip N Slide he probably would of gone airborne straight through a bottom floow window.

Then Webster just layed there and I actually started to feel bad for him, wondering if he was hurt. Then the ice cream man drove in playing his music, and much like Dude Love from the WWE that music brought him back.

He had a huge lump on his head, so his parents bought him Ice Cream. Like he needed to put on more weight, god if he gets any fatter he is gonna blow a hole into the next wall he Slip N Slides into.