Hey Gwen Stefani, Blondie Called And She Wants Her Act Back
I really can't stand Gwen Stefani. I had to suffer though her and that crap No Doubt bullcrap all though high school. Now that she's gone solo, which means "hey I just figured out I can pay a backup band 1/10th of 1% that my No Doubt bandmates were getting payed and keep the rest of the money for me", she seems to of found new ways to inflict pain on my ears.
I will give her one thing, she is a pretty hot piece. I mean I would totally give her the best 23 seconds of her life, 30 if she wants to cuddle. But that doesn't excuse the horror she has been putting my ears through lately.
She actually makes me long for the days of No Doubt. They and their crappy ska/punk sound was perfect for her jumping around stage and using her Betty Boop voice. But now that shes gone solo, and has now gone "hip hop/rb" it just completely sucks.
I can't turn on the goddamn radio lately without hearing "if I was rich girl, dananananananananananananananananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa". Its everywhere man, TV, radio, Music Videos. I was at the 7-11 and I actually cold cocked this 92 year old lady cuz she was about to open a Pepsi, I hate this song that much and was terrified that it would start playing if she opened it.
I caught her on SNL awhile back and was amazed at her lack of live ability. I am wondering if she is a "studio artist". Like all I saw was her dressed in poser Hip/Hop clothes (nothing says "I Have Street Cred" like a super blonde white girl from Cali who waves her arms around in mock gang signs) and trying to act like she was tough. I would totally like to see her and Jennifer Lopez hang out and do a tour together. It could be called "Posers Unite 2005" and Juggslee could open for them. Hmmmm that gives me an idea for a brilliant rant, I will construct the "Posers Unite 2005" summer tour lineup and post it later.
Anyways all she was doing was walking around and talking/rapping in a monotone voice. I seem to remember a super blonde dye jobbed semi hot chick that used to talk around and do simple rhymes in a monotone voice.....oh yeah SHE WAS CALLED BLONDIE.
posted by Carnonymous @ 9:28 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
The-One, Gwen Stefani is a superstar so I have to bring my A+ Game to the table. Duh.
Oh my god you are so brilliant. It's almost scary. And you're damn thought provoking too. Wow... incredible. And here I thought I was alone in the vastness of Texas only to find out that there is at least one other person that agrees with the Gwen Stefani/Blondie resemblance.
Believe it baby, I realize its scary to think that one man could be so brilliant, hella sexy, and classy all in one package.
I see on your profile that you are doing scriptwriting. Same here, in fact my bro and I are working on a hilarious car sales movie script. Any advice? If you do email me at carnonymous@hotmail.com
Sheesh The-One no need to be jealous of Gwen. Look just for you I am sure I could bring my B++ game and probably stretch it to 19.78 seconds, NOT including cuddling.
Man, being the guy with the most stamina ever sure is hard. All the ladies want a Cargasm.
hello there found this on blog explosion, bookmarked it so i don't forget where to find this place again. seems to a good a place to affor to forget. interesting posts.
"if I was rich girl, dananananananananananananananananaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~♫"
hahaha that song "gets" to me too and yeah what would she had to go off as solo anyway, she had a great band.
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