Vin Diesel: Gay Porn Star???

I am seriously starting to think that, in addition to his classic Breakdance Instructional Video (which really does exist look it up), that Vin Diesel has another skeleton in his acting closet. The guy has done some decent acting, Saving Private Ryan and Boiler Rooom being two examples, but now he is starting to churn out crap with a frequency that is making Nicholas Cage jealous.

For those not in the know his latest project is called "The Pacifier". Get this, Vin is the US Militarys top special forces soldier. For some reason he becomes a male nanny for a family and now has to help out with a bunch of kids.

For him to be in this movie I have to believe one of two things:

A. Hulk Hogan is his movie agent: I can totally see the Hulkster being in The Pacifier. That would fit right in with his other classics such as Santa With Muscles, Mr. Nanny, and Three Ninjas High Noon at Mega Mountain.


Hulk Hogan: Agent For The Stars 

B. Someone has a tape of him doing gay porn

There really can be no other explanation than the two above. Furthermore I don't think that The Pacifier has a shot at being a horrible movie in the "hey its 1 in the morning and I'm drunk so lets see what on TBS..... ooooh The Pacifier lets watch it" kind of way. If I am bored enough I can watch any Hulk Hogan movie, because most of em are so bad they're good.

The Pacifier will probably be Rupert Murdochs next "Hey I can buy the rights for $5,000 and show it 24 hours straight" purchase. All I know is that Vin had better get his shit together or he's going to end up making a ton of "Sci Fi Original Pictures" just like Lorenzo Lamas and Dean Cain.

Christ how much would it rule if they made a Sci Fi Pictures Original Movie starring all three of those guys? That would be the modern day equivalent of getting Deniro, Pesci, and Pacino all on the same set. I'm not sure what it would be about but I know it would include:

- A huge CGI monster (squid, dragon, locust or some shit like that)

- At least one hotty chick that is some kind of scientist. The chick explains recombinant DNA, evolution, the effects of radiation on Gilla Monster cells, all the while sitting around in a bikini.

- A secret military installation commanded by a hard nosed Colonel who yells at everyone

- A special forces team on the base that gets slaughtered by the cyborg/monster/ghosts/whatever bad creature is in it, yet somehow Lorenzo, Vin, and Dean Cain (who are a janitor, scientist, and cook respectively) all pick up weapons and kick ass.

- At least 1,390 explosions and 23 HUGE explosions

Holy shit I'm a genius, type it up and start production.