Saturday, February 19, 2005

Yes You're Emo and You Suck.

I seriously just don't understand the current "emo" thing thats going on. I am not talking about the real emo from 20 years ago, I am talking about the pop culture marketed emo that's out there. I really didn't pay much attention until one time down in Austin I ran into some "emo" kids (I say kid and I am 24, but these people acted like 12 year olds) at a bar on 6th street.

I made some comment about a clique or a cult or something like that and one of the emo nerds turned around and went off with something to the effect of "For you're information we are all like a million times more individuals than you are. You wear your Amerian Eagle clothes like eveyone else, but we all actually take the time and pride in ourselves to stand out as individuals."

This was coming out of the mouth of a 20 year old girl wearing an "Emo Gurls Rock!" t-shirt. I told her just because you're into the emo fad don't act like you are suddenly original, if it was 10 years ago they would be wearing long sleeved t-shirts under another tshirt and torn jeans and be talking about how Grunge they are. Stupid Emo Girl then said "emo isn't a fad, emo's a LIFESTYLE" I almost pissed my pants from laughing so hard at that. I asked her what does the "emo lifestyle" entail. Here's what I learned:

1. All Emo people are incredibly individualistic, unlike us pop culture conformists
2. They pride themselves on being different
3. They listen to music off the mainstream path


...... I then started looking at the 5 people with her and realized something. THEY WERE ALL THE SAME FREAKIN PERSON.

Seriously, it seems to be an incredibly individualistic Emo person you all wear the same outfit consisting of:

1. Cord pants or vintage jeans
2. Thick black clunky shoes
3. Thick rimmed "emo" glasses
4. Dyed hair (usually black) that is either spiked up or greased down into a bowl cut
5. Vintage T-shirts or cardigans
6. Leather wristcuff bracelets
7. At least one piercing usually some lame ass nose piercing

I decided to take the time to ask them what "emo" bands they listen to, and here's what they listed:

1. Yellowcard
2. AFI
3. Dashboard Confessional
4. Jimmy Eat World
5. New Found Glory
6. Weezer
7. Saves The Day

Only one of them isn't on a MAJOR freakin record label. I asked them if they realized that all the bands they listed are on MTV and top 25 radio stations, and that all their clothes I am fairly sure could be bought at Hot Topic. They got pissed at that and left.

After getting totally blasted on 6th street I went home. The next day I started doing some reasearch on "emo" and was amazed at the total and complete utter bullshit this "lifestyle" was. All these emo people looked and dressed the same way, yet on Emo boards they were all crowing about how nobody understands them cuz they are way too individualistic for everyone around them.

I then found the other extreme of "emo" music listeners. The ones that only like the bands that 5 people, including themself, know about. They then like to crow about finding this great unknown band like thats some merit badge for the loser Emo Scouts. But when the band gets like 200 people to listen to them they have then sold out.

I finally figured out these are alot of the same fags that hang out at Starbucks for like 3 hours with their laptops, drinking a Double Mocha Frappachino Latte Pumpkin Spice with Half Calf Two Year Old Coffee Beans hold the foam, discussing the latest episode of the Ashley Simpson show in deep thought, and rubbing their tibetan worry beads the whole time.

Yes you're emo, you're an individual in a lemming kind of way, and yes you suck.

5 Comments:

At 2:20 PM, Blogger Carnonymous said...

Thanks, I hope your a chick as this boys strictly non dickly. Not that there's anything wrong in being gay but I am enough of a dick that I certainly dont need another one around.

Everyone should recognize my genius. Check out my friends Triple0soul, Isaac The Bartender, and BattasticBatman for other fantastic blogs. Or check my other blog on my confessions as a carsalesman, its freakin genius.

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger Carnonymous said...

Don't worry, its not really fair for anyone to put their creations up against mine. That would be like having Corky from Life Goes On play chess against Bobby Fisher.

I do have to agree with you that Juggslee Simpson has penned some of the worst songs in the history of music.

 
At 11:44 AM, Blogger Carnonymous said...

That is true Isaac, I would probably give her the best 23 seconds of her life. Of course that includes cuddling time.

 
At 12:40 PM, Blogger Carnonymous said...

You have no idea how glorious that would be for you. The 42 hour bus ride down here would be worth those magical 23 seconds.

 
At 12:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's ammusing how the emo kids confuse the paucity of their style with individuality.

A lot of the same goes with the emocore kids. They dress a certain way as well. With them, it's kind of like the hardcore style... Throwing on a (usually black) tee, tight pants of any sort, and something along the lines of a pair of Docs. Plus they all tend to wear their hair in the same sort of hair, either long with the bangs brushed to one side or short and black with hardcore style (short mohawk or chickenhawk).

Pretty much any style that comes from a music trend tends to be uniform in nature. If one thinks about it, rockabilly, punk, new-wave, metal, rap, hardcore, metalcore, emocore, emo, grunge, alternative, nu metal, post-alternative, indie, pop-punk, and pop music, etc. all have a common style amongst most fans.

The only way one can escape being grouped into a music trend is to invent a new sound. However, if the sound becomes popular, all the fans will adapt that style.

To me, a style coming from a music trend, is a lot like gang colors. The style screams, "Look at what kind of music I listen to!", like how gang colors say, "Look who I roll with."

 

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