Monday, April 18, 2005

Bad Dudes Is The Sweetest Game EVER

Man oh man, they don't make video games like they used to. Now every "hit" game is a $5 Million budget epic with 2 hours of CGI cut scenes, celebrity voices, full orchestral scores, and music cd releases. I almost kind of long for the days of the NES and when games were about one thing, ass kicking non stop action.

The NES game Bad Dudes probably is the best example of this era. You don't have a 20 minute opening movie, voices done by Hollywood actors, or any of that bullshit. What you had was this for an opening setup.

THE PRESIDENT HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED BY NINJAS.

ARE YOU A BAD ENOUGH DUDE TO RESCUE THE PRESIDENT?


What follows is 7 Stages of non stop ass kicking fun. In 99% of todays games you can spend hours designing your character. "Hmmm will I be a dark elf with blonde hair, a scar on my left cheek, +5 Strength belt of Hercules, and a tribal tatoo on my left bicep" you ask yourself as you enter hour 3 of character creation.

Well in Bad Dudes you had a pretty goddamn crucial question to ask yourself when it came to your character.

"Will I be the Bad Dude in a black tank top and green pants, or will I be the Bad Dude in a black tank top and white pants?"

After making this choice you hit the mean streets armed with an arsenal of moves such as:

-Punch
-Kick
-Jump Kick
-Low Kick

And proceed to take on approximately 1,728,420 enemies over the course of the game. Games like Halo give you tons of different enemy species/races to fight. In Bad Dudes here's the lineup of enemies you have to fight:

-Black Ninja
-Purple Ninja
-Red Ninja
-White Ninja

Ain't no Covenant Brutes and their 18 different species of cronies to fight here here bitch. Besides Red Ninja could of kicked the shit out of Master Chief and The Arbitor at the same time if he wanted, this guy was bad ass HE WAS A RED NINJA FOR CHRISTS SAKE.

When you finally defeat the Dragon Clan Ninja Boss during an epic showdown on top of a helicopter you get to save the President. The President then offers to take you out for burgers.

Don't tell me that ending isn't better than Halo 2's.

1 Comments:

At 10:42 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Citrus - God, but I do miss Galaga.

 

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