If There Really Is A Just And Loving God Hurricane Katrina Wouldn't Of Hit New Orleans......It Would Of Hit The MTV Video Music Awards

I am just absolutely amazed at the level of death and destruction caused by Hurricane Katrina. Every day I pray that the victims will be able to put their lives back together and be safe. But another....darker side of me looks at the opportunity wasted by Hurricane Katrina.

One woman they interviewed outside the Superdome said that the Hurricane was "The Hand of God", I thought about that for a moment and decided she was 100% wrong. If this hurricane truly was the act of God it would of hit the MTV Music Video Awards.

The MTV Video Music Awards represent all that I hate in life, and is filled tons of people who just make my head explode when I realize they have more money than I ever will. I mean the only other way I could see all these idiots getting killed would be if they all got on a jumbo jet and it crashed into a volcano, but that would just be unreasonable to expect.

But would it be too much to hope God would direct the Hurricane so it lands directly on top of the awards show? Is that too much to ask God? I mean have it collapse into a mini Hurricane so only that area is hit, nothing else.

I know what some of you are saying "Carnonymous if you hate The MTV Music Video Awards why don't you just turn the channel". It's for the same reason I can't change the channel whenever My Super Sweet 16 is on. I absolutely hate and loathe those people and want to watch it to piss myself off even more.

Want to know my reasons for praying for a Category 102 Hurricane to hit the MTV Awards. Fine here's some of the so called "highlights" of this turd show:

-Mike Jones rapping. Does anyone else think this guy sounds like Cookie Monster just slowed down like 1,000 times kinda like an old walkman where the battery was dying? Absolutely no talent whatsoever.

-Green Day and My Chemical Romance proving that "rock is back". My ass they're pop music now, nothing else. Plus it was kinda cool when Green Day dressed that way 10 years ago, but now a mid 30's guy wearing heavy eye shadow and all the crap they wear just looks sad. These are the type of people you beat up in high school, or laughed at when other people beat them up let's be honest. Now a whole new generation of faggy emo kids are gonna do blogs and have Blvd Of Broken Dreams playing on their website to prove how angst filled they are. Excuse me I have to go vomit now.

-Puff Daddy, excuse me P. Diddy, ooops sorry, Puffy, oh my bad Diddy "conducting" that orchestra. When I first saw the promo for the show where Sean Combs was saying he was changing his name to Diddy because he thought the P was getting between he and his fans I laughed my balls off and thought "damn Combs actually has a pretty good sense of humor". Then I found out it wasn't a joke and 100% serious. I blacked out at that point and when I awoke my walls were covered with blood and a dead hobo laid in my living room. Anyone who used to be a musician, or in band, an orchestra etc probably wanted to vomit as much as I did when they saw him conducting. It looked like he was having a seizure and was spazzing around the place. I wanted to take that goddamned baton and beat him over the head with it.

-The Latino rap fest hosted by Big Pun, or was that Fat Joe? Are they really two different people? I know Big Pun supposedly died, but I swear to god they're the same people. For anyone that thought Puerto Rico and South America was full of broke, dirty, stupid, ethnic stereotypes....well the Latino rap fest pretty much proved them right.

-R "I Like To Piss On 12 Year Old Girls" Kelly lip syncing his song "In The Closet" and acting out all the parts. Seriously.....what the fuck happened to R. Kelly? The guy went from the "I Believe I Can Fly" dude to this pile of shit. They should of played his sex tape in the background on those jumbotrons at least then the audience would of gotten a laugh.

About the only parts of the show I enjoyed was Shakira (for obvious reasons) and seeing Gwen Stefani looking so incredibly pissed off when she lost to Kelly Clarkson. Besides that the show pretty much fucking sucked.

When I heard that a hurricane was forming in that area, and I then heard "Diddy" say the show would go on hurricane or no hurricane I immediately started to pray. This was my prayer:

"Jesus....oh great Jesus I love you so much lord. You are great and powerful Jesus (I figured a little flattery should help) no one is above you. In case you haven't heard Jesus a hurricane is forming near Florida. The MTV Video Music Awards are also in Florida Jesus. I am sure this must be part of your fathers plan, the coincidence is just to great Jesus. But just in case it isn't I wanted to let you know of the tremendous opportunity you have.

Jesus...The Ying Yang Twins....Puff Daddy...Mike Jones...Gwen Stefani...Clay Aiken...My Chemical Romance...it's just too good an opportunity. That would be like having Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot all in one room and you can drop a bomb on them. I mean Jesus these are the same people who thank you all the time and you know they don't' mean it.

I mean Jesus...you really can't be the reason Fat Joe can rap about bitches and ho's can you? The Ying Yang Twins say without you nothing is possible, prove it lord...DESTROY THEM. Oh great Jesus please answer my prayers, all I ask is for a Category 329 Hurricane to land directly on the award show. Nowhere else Jesus, nobody else has to get hurt just these people.

While you're at it Jesus if you could make sure Steve Harvey, Bam Margera, and those Real Estate Midgets are there as well I would appreciate it lord.

Amen"

Well either The Ying Yang Twins are right or Jesus just didn't check his voicemail because well all know The MTV Awards didn't get hit. So now I'm praying that God look after all those hit by Hurricane Katrina, and just slipping in the occasional suggestion about a massive earthquake swallowing up the Laguna Beach cast and crew.

A man can hope can't he?