Fattys In Scooters & The Amish, Why Obesity ISN'T A Disease

Yesterday I was out at HEB doing a little grocery shopping when I came upon something that was an all too common sight. A hugely obese person driving around on one of those scooter carts.

Now while I personally think that retards, midgets, fattys, and Juggslee Simpson have been put on this earth by god for my own personal amusement I was a little saddened by this. Fatty was rolling around at about a quarter of a MPH on this scooter (not cuz it was slow its just that a electric scooter can only move so fast carrying around 300+ plus lbs) and I was starting to get pissed cuz much like an old Asian man driving he wouldn't move to let me pass in the aisle.

Fatty rolled forward for about 10 feet (which took 5 minutes) and would stop, get out of the scooter and roll around to get something from the freezer and put it in the basket. I finally got a chance to pass fatty but I took an opportunity to look in the shopping basket.

Here's some of what I saw:

-Buffalo Wings
-A 10 Pound Bag of M&Ms
-Beer
-Ice Cream & Caramel and Hersheys Chocolate Topping
-Cheez Wiz

Now I know that if I was overweight (which by the way I am about 15 pounds over weight and you know what, I am on a diet and working out cuz I want to lose it and get to being my old hella sexy cut self) I would probably drop all that fattening bad stuff, but thats just me.

I know there's some of you that are going "oh carnonymous, how could you say that, these people probably can't help themselves its a disease". BULLFREAKIN CRAP. Obesity is NOT a disease, it comes from not being able to stop shoving your face full of bad food and choosing not to exercise plain and simple.


Ever Hear of Weight Watchers? 

You know how Dr. Carnonymous can authoritatively state this fact? Asides from the fact that I am a genius who's never wrong, I will present Exhibit A, for the Amish. That's right the freakin Amish.

Has anyone ever seen a fat Amish person? NO. And that's due to the fact that:

-The Amish don't eat McDonalds 3-5 times a week
-The Amish don't sit around eating ice cream and wondering why their thighs are the size of tree trunks
-The Amish don't sit around all day watching tv and brushing the crumbs off their ever growing belly

Plus the Amish actually workout and exercise. You know why nobody gets morbidly obese as an Amish person? They don't have electric scooters to move their tubby body around thats why, if they got that fat they couldn't work on the farm. If they can't work on the farm the whole Amish community gets together and stones them to death. Look it up, it's a fact.

Even if an Amish dude wanted to use his buggy to get around the store, I would be cool with it. He's spent all day workin on the farm since 4AM and raising a barn till late in the evening, he deserves to give his dogs a rest. How much would it freakin rule to have something like this really happen?


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We have become a society where everything now isn't our fault, and technology can help out with so many things. You have gone from 180 to 410 and now have to be airlifted out of your bed by a crane just to get up? It isn't your fault you have a disease, here's an electric scooter to wheel around in you sick sick man.

Your 12 year old daughter is 180 pounds, oh it isn't their fault or yours, its that evil bastard Ronald McDonald and his henchmen Grimus. He's the one that got your kids to eat at McDonalds 7 times a week. Here's a word of advice, instead of suing McDonalds try cooking your family a healthy meal you lazy fucks.