Holy Shit, They're Making Roadhouse 2. Does This Mean Patrick Swayze Will Write A Sequel To "She's Like The Wind"?

I'm sure everyone out there has watched the movie Roadhouse. Whether it be at 4AM on TBS, part of a Patrick Swayze film festival (which probably includes other Oscar snubbed pics such as Red Dawn or Point Break), or you're living in Mexico and it is a brand new theater release. For those 4 of you that haven't seen Roadhouse let me sum it up to you in a few short points:

1. Patrick Swayze is a short little bad ass

2. Everyone thinks he was taller

3. He runs around the movie in a very homoerotic way, yet manages to nail a hot chick

4. Sam Elliot shows up and whups ass

That's pretty much the movie in a nutshell. I am sure by now you are asking why in the hell did it take them 17 years to make a sequel? Of course I am sure it's probably because they are waiting to make all those other Swayze sequels. I mean who here still isn't waiting for Red Dawn 2, Point Break 2, or Steel Dawn 2? To get off on a tangent for a minute, I'm still not sure that Red Dawn and Steel Dawn aren't connected. It is VERY possible that Swayzes character in Steel Dawn is a descendant of his character in Red Dawn. If there were Cubans and Russians running around in Steel Dawn I could be 100% sure. Moving on.....

What I want to know is why isn't Swayze in this movie? I mean you're gonna replace him with Johnathon Schaech? Fucking Johnathon Schaech? I mean I realize Schaech really showed his acting chops in movies like Poison Ivy II, 8MM 2, and The Adventures of Brisco County Jr with quite possibly the greatest actor of all time Bruce Campbell. What the fuck is Swayze doing that is so goddamned important? I don't care if he is curing cancer or retardation he can put down his scientist jacket and clip board and shoot a movie. The only acceptable excuse is he is gearing up to shoot Red Dawn Vs Point Break. Holy fuck would that movie rock. I can just picture Charlie Sheen, Keanu Reeves, and Swayze surfing as they attack a bunch of damn Cubans and Russians. WOLVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRINES MOTHERFUCKERS. The only possible thing that I can think would hold up this movie would be if those guys that wrote Surf Ninjas are blocking it by saying it's copywriting. That would just be stupid, I mean Charlie Sheen, Swayze, and Neo would be 40 year old high school kids from rural United States not ninjas. Duh.

Alas Road House 2 won't be starring Jack Dalton. Although it does have Jake Busey in it, so that must mean it won't be that bad. I think the thing that upsets me the most is the fact that we can't look forward to another musical masterpiece by Patrick Swayze. I mean the only thing better than Road House was the great song "She's Like The Wind" by Patrick Swazye. Granted he did the song for Dirty Dancing, but that really should of been the end credits song for Roadhouse. Words can not describe what a panty dropper this song is, it is fucking amazing. Swayze doesn't even really sing, he just whispers really sad sounding and stares off into the distance in all his mulleted glory and it's like BAM! instant panty dropping. It's the equivalent of giving college girls alcohol. I'm serious guys, next time you're throwing a kegger put on She's Like The Wind and all the chicks will start making out it's fucking amazing. If you partnered up Swayze and Joey "Whoah" Lawrence on a music tour that would be bigger than a Beatles & The Monkees tour.

Fuck that would rock.